Good news, everyone: you can go crazy doing all of your holiday shopping! Buy whatever the heck you want, rack up the charges on your credit cards - hell, get some new credit cards and max 'em out - and best of all, you can finally tell off the members of your family about what you REALLY think of them at the awkward family reunion!
You can do all of this because you don't have to worry about the bills coming due, either literally (with credit cards) or figuratively (family).
The reason: because America will be destroyed by Russian nuclear missiles! It's true: a prophet has said so.
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